Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
