Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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