I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just found puke in my bra..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So much rum. So many feels.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
