He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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