If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My life is pants optional.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
