do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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