And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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