mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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