It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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