D3 body, D1 cock
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Randomize
