No subtext here. People are naked.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
