Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
