is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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