Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
