Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
