Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize