Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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