Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
