bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
