oh god the rape fog is back!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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