We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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