help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
