We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
