With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
