ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
