Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize