i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
