There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
