Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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