I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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