Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize