I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
