Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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