i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
