I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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