it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
