I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
