Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
