Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
