haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I see more hoeing in ur future
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