first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
