my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
