I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
