i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize