Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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