She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize