well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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