i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
