He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
