We're like a lot better than the average bears
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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