when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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