I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
