i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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