I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
