Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
