and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
