I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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