2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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