i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
