True but thats because hes a fetus.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
