Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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