I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
