I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
