I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
time to smoke my breakfast
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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