Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I deserve this hangover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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