JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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