why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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