Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
